i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
