i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
