She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
