i just wanna soil my oats bro
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
