I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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