Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
