I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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