how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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