i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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