but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
