As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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