Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I want a musical about memes.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
