I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize