if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
