i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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