Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize