so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize