i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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