Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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