He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
