I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
