How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
