he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I need a beard to bite.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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