There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
