tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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