i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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