I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
