i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
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No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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