she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
