he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
