Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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