Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
