Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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