oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
