Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize