So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
