dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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