The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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