Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Randomize
