Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I have tasted many bathrooms
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
