is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
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Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
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After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize