Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
