Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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