The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize