There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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