So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
