her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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