1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
