my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
