Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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