A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she pinky promised me she was 18
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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