wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
