FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
