sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
