At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
