woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
