If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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