I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
