Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.