I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.