I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
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The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
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I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.