My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
