when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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