ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
